Unit 10 - Final Thoughts

I think that all of my scores have increased at the close of this course. How can you complete this course and not be affected in some way?  In the beginning it was difficult for me to grasp some of the concepts but as I got deeper into the readings and exercises, I realized there was much to be gained from this.

I have made progress towards each of my goals. My health, happiness, and spiritual wellness are now heightened. I am still losing weight, exercising daily, doing more with my mother, and continually improving my relationship with God.

I have implemented all of the activities I had set for myself with the exception of my relationship with my brother. That will take much more time.

I really think that the questions in this exercise are somewhat redundant and have been answered more thoroughly in the Unit 9 project which was posted to the blog as well. Short of rewriting much of what I have already written, you can get a more complete picture of how this class has affected me by reading the unit 9 blog. I wish the best to everyone and hope that all of your dreams come true.

You can find me on Facebook as Denise Rippeon Toms. Feel free to friend me.

Applying the Concepts

Introduction

            As health and wellness professionals we must first realize that the human body consists of more than just physiologic functions.  We must redirect our efforts and look to the individual as a whole which includes the inner self as well.  Our patients want us not only to heal the outer self but the mind, body, and spirit too.  As stated by Elliott Dacher, (2006); “to transform health and life we must shift our gaze inward, where we will find the ever-present source of exceptional health and healing.”

            Before we can accomplish this and help our patients to reach this level, we must first understand and reach it ourselves; otherwise we are inadequately prepared to care for other’s lives.  Many physical and mental diseases are associated with imbalances of the mind, body, and spirit.    Our patients can be better prepared to deal with things such as stress which causes many of the problems they are experiencing if they heal the mind as well as the body.  Dacher’s philosophy of human flourishing relies on self-cultivation rather than outer remedies.  These must be permanent changes with profound steps to reach integral health (Dacher, 2006).

            Based on Ken Wilbur’s integral theory, those steps must be a part of the practitioner’s goal.  When we strive towards human flourishing, we lay the ground work for others to take the steps towards health and healing (Dacher, 2006).  We then have authentic compassion and our service to others becomes the one meaningful response to human suffering.  Our goal as professionals is to help others who are suffering and alleviate their pain.  We then can bring integrity, consciousness, compassion, and soul to our work as health and wellness professionals.  Leading by example will be a source of inspiration and compassion that we show to the ones we are to care for.

            I personally am still developing my goals of reaching a level of fitness that will enable me to be a better example to others.  I have greatly improved the nutrition aspect of my life and have lost 113 pounds.  I am now increasing my physical fitness plan each day and I am walking four miles each day. I will continue to do this and my next goal is to join the gym where I can get more of a total body workout.  I am also so much more aware of my spiritual and psychological health and am working towards a permanent transition to inner peace.

Assessment

            Following the six principles of integral assessment as referred to by Dacher, (2006); I have tried to indentify the aspects of my life which cause me the most stress.  I have found that the greatest possibility for further growth and development lies here.  There is much work to do on improving family relationships and practicing loving-kindness in this particular area.  It is impossible to rid yourself of the negativity of others when they are your immediate family, so I must begin to recognize the source of their negative actions and try to turn these emotions into positive ones.  By practicing loving-kindness and bringing these individuals into my mind when I am at a state of peace and ease will help me to expand my heart to include loving feelings for these people.  Once my heart and mind is softened, I can be ready to create a heart felt loving-kindness which will help to diminish the negativity they bring.

            My goals of physical wellness are progressing quite nicely.  I have developed an awareness about my nutrition and fitness which has become one of my main focuses.  My physical health has greatly improved over the last six months.  I am no longer on insulin, as my diet has improved and my weight loss has significantly lowered my blood sugars.  I have been taken off of my blood pressure medications and I have not suffered with an asthma attack since September of 2011.  Prior to these changes I was hospitalized at least every other month for either asthma or hyperglycemia due to the large doses of steroids that I constantly required.

            My highest and most developed level of wellness is spiritual.  Since I was hospitalized in February of 2008, at which time I was on life support for twenty one days and not expected to live, I have developed a relationship with God that has grown dramatically over the last four years.  I can assess this growth by standing back and comparing how I now live my life with how I once lived it.  I am now motivated to live my life as I know God would want me to live, to glorify Him and all of His creations.  I am no longer afraid to die for I know that just as God gave His son to die for our sins, He has prepared a place for me in His kingdom.  I believe I have reached the level of calm-abiding consciousness and I am secure in my walk with the Lord.  Jesus never promised me that my life would be an easy one, but He rewards those who are faithful.  “Having Christ in your heart not only guarantees life in Heaven, but also Christ in us grants the astounding invitation to live beyond ourselves on earth” (Moore, 2008).

Goal Development

            My physical goal would be to reach my goal weight, continue eating properly and healthy, and achieve a level of wellness which I have not had for many, many years.

            My psychological goal is to be able to look back at my life when I reach the end of it and see it as having been meaningful and complete.  I would like to touch as many lives as I can along the way and bring happiness to those who have not experienced happiness.  I want to have long, enduring, and loving relationships with those who I care deeply for. 

            My spiritual goal is to deepen my relationship with Jesus by spending more time in the Word and by joining my church family each week in worship and fellowship.  I will continue with my daily devotions and allowing the Lord to lead me where He wants me to follow.  I will seek his guidance with my problems and work to develop loving-kindness to all.

Practices for Personal Health

            Currently fostering physical growth is one of the easiest for me. Since I have already begun this particular journey, I plan to see it through to the end.  I will follow my eating plan as I have been doing, since I have lost 113 pounds to date.  When I reach my goal I will continue to live a healthy lifestyle and make sure that I take the steps needed to stay healthy.  I plan to continue and even increase my level of physical activity by continuing my daily walks, going to the gym, and staying very active.  My grand-daughters love that I can now actually get down on the floor and play with them.  The two teenaged ones love that I can go with them to the mall and walk all day while they shop.  I have a cruise to the Bahamas planned in May 2013, so I plan to use that trip as my incentive for continuing towards my goal.

            Psychological growth will take some effort on my part, as I need to try and pull back together some personal family relationships that have “gone bad.”  My strategies will need to include being able to stand being in the same room with those people and still be able to maintain control of my thoughts and actions.  One of the ways I can do this is to begin by establishing a relationship over the phone with my brother.  I must try and understand his heart and pray for him to come to know the Lord.  I guess I need to begin by finding it in my own heart to forgive him for all of the things that he has done to the family as a whole.  Maybe some day I will actually speak to him again, but that will be a long time in the future.  The other thing I must practice is patience with my mother.  She is the one great negative person in my life and I need to try to understand where the negativity comes from.  I have tried to talk to her about it but it has gotten me no where.  I have started to spend more time with her by inviting her to go places with me and taking her out to dinner.  I have also spoken to my pastor about the situation and I have asked God for his guidance as well.  It’s so hard to break a cycle that has lasted for 56 years of my life.  I do keep reminding myself that this is what my dad would have wanted and now that he is gone, someone needs to look after her.

            Spiritual growth is an ongoing process for me.  I have a long way to go in understanding God’s word but I am taking some bible study courses and I have joined a life group at church.  This allows me to spend time with other Christians who are deepening their relationships with the Lord.  Spending time each day in the Word has helped me a great deal and I now know that if a situation occurs that I am unable to handle, I give it to the Lord and wait for His answer.  Many of my prayers have already been answered and although the answers are not always what I want them to be, I know that it is what God wants from me.  One of my favorite passages in the Bible is; “but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5: 22-23)

Commitment

            Assessing my progress over the next six months will involve tracking my weight and physical activity often.  I have kept a log of my weight and a food log of what I eat since I had my gastric bypass surgery back in February.  This helps me to look back at what has worked and where my downfalls are.  I will also know in six months what my blood work shows and if there are further changes to be made.  In December, I am to have another sleep study done to determine if I still require my CPAP at night.  My doctor feels that if I continue to loose weight, I will not need it at all.  I have already been taken completely off of my insulin, blood pressure, and some of my asthma medications.  Keeping track of those things will also be a good measure of my progress.

            Psychological progress will involve re-examining my relationships with my brother and my mother.  I have always spent Christmas with my mom, but I have not spent a Christmas with my brother for about 5 years, so since the six month mark will be around Christmas, I will see what Christmas holds in store for this coming year. 

            Our church has a plan for reading the entire Bible in a year so if I stick with that plan, I will be finished by the end of the year.  I believe spiritual growth comes along with understanding God’s word and by deepening relationships with other Christians. 

            I am a schedule and chart kind of person, so it is easy to maintain what I have committed myself to on paper.  If it is written down, I will complete it as planned.  This strategy has helped me to already accomplish many goals in life and it will continue to be my best strategy.  As for my weight loss journey, I have but to look in the mirror each day to see my progress and that in itself provides me with the motivation to continue.  This has been an inspiring class for me and what I have learned in it will become my new goals for developing an inner peace in myself and helping me to help others to do the same.  I can lead by example and I can inspire others with my own personal growth.

References

Dacher, E., (2006). Integral Health – The Path to Human Flourishing. Basic Health Publications, Inc.  Laguna Beach, CA

Moore, B., (2008). Living Beyond Yourself – Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. LifeWay Press. Nashville, TN

My Two Favorites

The two things that I have found to be my favorites and have incorporated into my life are Loving Kindness and Meditation. 
I have found that adding the loving-kindness practice into my morning devotions, I can think of and pray for those who need help. I have also begun to reach out to others by offering physical assistance, such as helping to provide help to members of my church who are in need, and providing meals to a family who is unable to do it themselves. Something as simple as talking with others in church who sit alone can help to create a heart to heart connection. I am trying very hard to use this practice as a way of improving my relationship with my mother. I have started to call her more and even invite her to lunch for no reason. Face to face contact with my brother has not happened yet and it is far in the distance, but I do continue to pray for him each and every day, and who knows, maybe some day I will re-establish some sort of relationship with him.
As for meditation, I have really grown to love this exercise.  I don't believe you have to sit and assume some weird position to do this. I use my time each evening that I have set aside to walk in the park to meditate. Walking outdoors and enjoying the sight and sounds of nature can be very relaxing and calming to me. I can think back on events of the day and deal with things that are bothering me while I walk. I have found that if I do not go out and walk each evening, I have a bad night. Walking helps to relax me and calm me so that I can get a good night's sleep.
I have very much enjoyed this class and the things that I have learned that help me to get through each day and have a new found appreciation for each moment of the day.

Meeting Aesclepius

When I began to listen this week and had to picture a wise person before me, I think I had a mixture of Jesus and an Indian shaman. I tried very hard to envision this person, but I was having some pretty severe joint and back pain and try as I might, I couldn't focus on anything but how bad I was hurting. I do think that by the end of the tape I had actually let go of some of the pain and was better able to focus.
I have made myself a routine now of going outside each evening around dusk to walk in the park by the creek. It has very much helped me to meditate in the calm and quiet of nature. I come home feeling refreshed and I have had the added benefit of exercise. This is a routine that I will continue and try very hard to foster into one that will help to improve my health and wellness.
I think the saying "one cannot lead another where one has not gone him or herself" means that until we have experienced our own inner peace and had attained health and wellness through our practices, we will not be able to help others reach the same level.  Being a health care professional means that we have to be open to our patients feelings and attitudes on wellness and health. We must listen with an open mind and an open heart, keeping in mind that others have different beliefs than we may have. We do have an obligation to develop our own health psychologically, physically and spiritually before we can expect it of our patients.
I once had a physician who would sit behind his desk at each visit I had with him and rant and rave about how much I needed to loose weight. He must have tipped the scale at 350 himself. It irritated me to no end that he could sit there and lecture me about my weight and he looked like he was 9 months pregnant. How dare he!!  I finally had enough of it and after politely telling him how I felt about his comments and his own weight, I found another doctor.! Incidentally, about 8 months later, he dropped dead in the parking lot of his office, from a massive coronary.

Personal Assessment Process

Wow! This was an eye opener. What I discovered was that there are several areas that I need to work on. The first major one was family. I do okay with my own family (as in my husband, kids, and grandkids). What I need the most is to work on my relationships with my mother and my brother. This is an area where I have not handled things very well. I become very frustrated with my mother alot. She is and has always been a very negative person. Many times I have chosen not to deal with it by just shutting her out. I don't answer the phone when she calls or I avoid her all together. I really need to work on this. She is who she is and since this has been her personality forever, she is not likely to change. The change therefore needs to come from me. I think I need to focus on the very few positives that are in the relationship. She is supportive of me and my career and my life. She doesn't know or chooses not to voice her feelings. Just when I think I can't take it anymore, she sends me a card telling me how important I am to her and that I am her rock in life. Wow! I'll work on this by trying to be more patient of her.
As for my brother, I'm not sure this is a situation that will ever change. It also is not one that worries me or bothers me that we do not speak. He has been the source of much heartache in my life over the years. I have forgiven him for much of what he has done, but have also chosen not to be around him until he changes his ways. He is to put it bluntly, lazy (no job for 6 years), vulgar (language that would embarrass a sailor), a con artist (scams money or things from anyone or any place he can), and very disrespectful to my mother (he curses her out and calls her very bad things.) He also abused his four month old daughter by shaking her and putting her in the hospital for months. This is one of the things I have trouble with the most. At this point, all I can do to repair this relationship is to pray for his soul. He needs to find the Lord.
Some positive things that have come from this assessment are I have gone very far in improving my nutrition and fitness. I have lost nearly 100 pounds since February (thanks to gastric bypass surgery). I feel so much better and I have started walking. That is something I never have been able to do. I make it my routine now to walk at least 2 miles a day and I am increasing that each day. That makes me feel good! My family is proud of me for my accomplishments thus far.
My priorities right now are in improving my own health and developing my own inner peace. I will resolve the other issues in time. Some of those areas are not yet ready for growth and development. Each new experience or issue will be looked back on and I'll re-assess how I handled it at the time. Progress is happening one step at a time. Thanks for letting me share.

The Sublte Mind

I have to admit I got frustrated with this one.  Try as I might, I just cannot get rid of all of the thoughts that are floating around in my mind.  It was much easier for me to do the loving-kindness exercise. I have no trouble thinking of others or even myself and focusing on the loving-kindness.  But it is just so frustrating to try and clear my mind when there is so much in there to think about. I like the ebb and flow of the water and I can't help but picture myself lying on the beach.  I don't think my frame of mind was right when I started on this.  I wasn't in a very good mood and I had too many things that were frustrating me in the beginning that I just couldn't get rid of. 
My husband left for work this morning in a bad mood after we had a disagreement the night before. I couldn't think of anything else but that disagreement.  I hate having a day where we didn't speak before he left to go to work.  I always think of all of the "what ifs" during the day that follows.  Maybe I'm just not an inner focused kind of person. 
I think it would be awesome to be able to be in this place and be able to clear the mind, but it is just not something that I have learned to do yet. I think that to do this you must be practiced in it for years prior to completely being able to be absorbed in it.  I guess that is why it is so frustrating for me. Anyway, it didn't take me long to become bored and unfocused with this one.

Loving Kindness

I just love these exercises. I find them to be very relaxing and tranquil. I really have to shut myself up in a room away from all distractions to complete them. I do believe this was beneficial but I am still learning how to totally focus all of my energy and thoughts when doing these exercises. It's still somewhat difficult for me to clear my mind and be able to picture what is asked of me. I had no problem with first part of focusing on a loved one. I did find it a little difficult to try to focus on a family member who is suffering because frankly, I couldn't bring anyone to mind.  I like to believe that I always put other's feelings before mine.  I will go out of my way to make someone happy or do something special for them for no particular reason.  I think I get that from my father because I've never met anyone who didn't immediately love him when they met him.  I would give anything to have just one more minute with him again. Practicing loving kindness on strangers is not so difficult for me because I wish the best for everyone. The thing I find difficult is to have loving kindness for those people who have hurt me badly over the years. My strong faith is the only thing that allows me to do this to a degree. I have forgiven those people and I pray each day that they would find peace and comfort for themselves in the arms of the Lord. I always try and be a witness to what God can do in your life and live my life the way that the Lord wants me to. Ultimately, it's all for Him.
I think that there are those to who I would recommend completing this exercise. I have always believed that the people who do not give loving kindness are those who do not love themselves either. I believe that in order to give loving kindness, you must first learn to love yourself.  I sometimes think how lonely these people must be and how miserable they must be in their lives. All I can do is to show kindness to them and pray for them, and to make myself an example to others.
The concept of a mental workout is first to focus on your body and its sensations, both the pleasant and unpleasant feelings. By doing so you can give them your love, kindness, and a sense of ease, spaciousness, and care. I often use this technique to relax tense muscles or just to decrease any pain I may be having. When you focus on it, you can ease it as well.  Sort of like having a baby and trying to deal with the pain by breathing and riding through the rough contractions until you can once again relax. Once you have given all of the unpleasant feelings love and equal care, you must turn your attention to your inner mind.  Focus on the stillness, peace, and gentleness that is your natural home. This concept can not be accomplished all at once. It is something you must learn over time, practicing it for a few moments each day and working up from there. I find that is is actually exhausting at first but one you keep doing it, you can then find it as a very relaxing and pleasant experience. The proven benefits of this are that with continued practice, our initial faith will turn into confidence and then to certainty. It does require practice but just like any workout, whether physical or mental, you will see the benefits over time. It will become easier the more you practice.
Fostering your own psychological health begins with being in touch with your inner self. If you do this type of exercise each day, you will be much more balanced.  I find that in times of great stress or when encountering a difficult person, it is best to take five minutes at that exact moment and practice loving kindness. Letting the feelings of anger, intolerance, and pride fester can destroy your own inner peace. It can be destructive your your mental and psychological health. It allows us to let self centeredness dissolve and to embrace others.